On certain days in fact, I would ask for it myself really badly. So this part of me is very sure.
My best friend and I have worked together in this project, but for the past few years, weve really just been good friends. He never really made a big impression on me to the point that I would like to be with him. When his wife and daughter went to the States for a vacation for three weeks, he was left alone, and I never really cared about where he was and whats hes doing. Of course, I regret now why I didnt become close to him then because that would have been one good time for me to really be close to him. At any rate, thats another issue.
About a year ago however, I invited him to spend dinner with me. Both our wives knew about this (theyre good friends too, but not really that close). That was the first time that I asked him out, and kami lang, so our wives were also thrilled to know that because they were happy that we were becoming close and becoming best of friends. Weve all been praying to find not only best friends, but also best friends who would share with us the same catholic faith. But during dinner, we hit it right automatically for reason, it just came so naturally because I suddenly shared with him my own secrets (not about my gender, of course, because I have never confirmed it with anyone in the first place), and he shared with me his own secrets as well. In short, we realized that we were really comfortable with each other. And because we were both are married, men with sexual exploits in the past (were both not ugly had many girlfriends before and
enjoyed it), we shared sexual experiences during our bachelor days. I actually shared with him moments of me being blowjobbed by a neighbor gay friend twice, and he asked me if I enjoyed it. I said yes when he was doing it, but no after, because I hated him then. He said he had two near-gay experiences with friends drinking with gay friends. You know how it was during high school for the fun of it, we would let our gay friends do it on us. His closest was when after four of his friends were done, he had himself exposed to one of their gay friends, started getting blowjobbed, but after 10 seconds, he felt guilty and therefore stopped the act. His gay friend hated it of course, but in the end spent his whole life telling everyone he tasted my best friend. My best friend up to now still feels bad about what happened because that gay friend actually had a crush on him and everytime he sees him now he is still quite ashamed.
We became really close after that, spending time emailing each other and telling each other that weve found our one and true best friend. I must say that we both are sincere in our friendship. We even write to tell each other I love you, dude.
The Physical Attraction
As time passed however, I realized that aside from being my best friend, I suddenly got attracted to him physically such that I would feel agitated if he was with other friends and if he wouldnt message me at a time I wanted him too. All these were, of course, just kapraningan but thats what I felt. I really felt so much love for him that I couldnt even work at some point. I just wanted to be with him, although thats not possible because he had his own full-time job as well. And of course, weve had a covenant that our families are our first priority. Inside me, I didnt want this physical attraction to continue because I want the relationship to go on as it started just the two of us as best friends. I never had any sexual relationship with another man in the past and, although I would admit to being attracted to other men, it never really bothered me much because I never really gave all of it much thought. Perhaps because my
best friend was open to me as well that I suddenly felt that much of what was inside me suddenly burst and emotion just kept on flowing and flowing
I would visit his main office a few times and together we would stay in his grandfathers house after work and rest in bed together for an hour or two and then leave for our respective homes. We feel comfortable with one another. Inside the room, we would embrace each other and tell each other than we love or miss each other. I must say though that all this would be initiated by me, although hes game into doing it also. I was in that sense drawing him into my kind of idealized relationship although, again, this was also a struggle because I wouldnt want that to happen. Physical closeness, of course, will always make the whole difference. Even now, if I dont really ask him if hes free to spend the time with me in his grandfathers place, he really wont ask me. But if were together, he would also embrace me, tightly sometimes
perhaps a few times, I was able to convince him to rest on my whole body. Sabi ko, if were best friends,
we should be comfortable with one another. He would it, with some prodding, but the point is, I had to convince him to do it before he would do it himself.
There was one time, a few months ago, a number of families from the charity we work in went to Hong Kong for a few days of bonding session. His family and family went with the group. We only stayed in Hong Kong for a total of four nights, but on the third night, we asked permission from our wives if we could go out, just the two of us. Of course, wala naming problema kasi nga best friends naman kami. And who think about anything else but simply male bonding? Anyway, after a few drinks (but promise we were not drunk at all), I managed to convince him again to go to one mens room and there we hugged each other. That was not the first time it happened, of course, but this time I kissed him on the lips. He was at first surprised and would move his face away from me, but I kissed him nevertheless a few times. He did not kiss back he just allowed me to kiss him.
When we got back to Manila, we had a lengthy discussion about what happened. He asked me point-blank if I have other intentions for him other than being best friends. I denied it to death of course since, despite the fact that I would now fantasize about him, I really really honestly do not want everything to get into the next stage. Yes, you might want to say that I am just in denial stage no, thats not true, I know I am bisexual, but I dont want to ruin my friendship with my best friend. He looked mad, very disappointed, but in the coming days we would still hang out together, stay on the same bed, BUT, always with the condition that I would not kiss him again. He would always remind me that he would like to be with me only if I do not kiss him in lips.
One day though, I couldnt keep the promise. He was struggling a bit, but suddenly I found myself kissing him again and opening his shirt and kissing his breast
that was the first time that I felt he had a hard-on because for all the times that we were together, he never had a hard-on. Ako naman, I would always have it even if we would just pee together. No matter how physically close we were (literally), he never really gotten hard, if you know what I mean. And that explains why I am curious about him if hes gay, the closeness itself would make it happen to him right? After all, we would embrace each and sleep together and he would be on top of me (usually just to rest, nothing else), and so on
anyway, just trust me that you would have it if you were in his place. Going back to the story, after I touch his dick, I started to zip his pants down, but he suddenly held my hand back and pushed me away. He was mad, very very disappointed,
and he started asking me again if I am gay. These are not acts that best friends do, right? He asked me many times.
I am not gay.
For a month, I would apologize to him and, to cut the story short again, we would get back to our normal selves resting together, hanging out in some good restaurants in Makati, and hugging each other. I had to convince him though many many times that I am not gay that, yes I may not be typically male, but at least I am not sexually drawn towards men. Since then up to now, everything is normal and I am very happy that it is. Ive always tried to forget about my physical attraction because it feels really good that our friendship is pure (please dont judge me because of this, I know the ramifications of this word) because thats how he wants it to be. However, every time I am with him, I would really make things that hopefully will make him do it as well. All the things that a normal gay person would fall into did not work really hes not interested in my dick at all, to put it bluntly, although we would embrace each
other tightly if given the chance.
Questions. Questions. Questions.
Perhaps hes gay but hes not attracted to me physically? Puede ba yun? But he is also willing to do things that are not normal among straight male best friends. Would straight male best friends hug each other inside the room? This should be qualified, of course, with the fact that its me whos always doing the first motioning. If I wouldnt do it, he wouldnt. If I would not ask him to come close to me in bed, he would not do it; I would sometimes pull one of his feet up so that it would cross over my body. On my part, it feels really good if hes close to me. I cant just say its pure gay love. I really consider him as my best friend and I wouldnt want to lose him just because he knows I am gay. I know he loves me, but what I can be sure of is he cares for me as his best friend
Any comment/sharing about straight male best friend, guys?
Ini pastinya bukan cerita gw. Gw cuman pengen sharing apa ada yang punya pengalaman bersahabat dgn straigt man tapi rada "ga normal"? Dianya sangat care and "quite intimate" tapi dia bukan gay seperti cerita di atas. Is it possible "a normal straight man" to do that?